So Machu

At last, the bus of travelling cliches has come to town and I had a ticket. I've finally been on a bus with chickens on it - long since an ambition of mine after hearing about them from just about every other traveller. That's not all though - I also had two young boys staring at me and practically (and unnecessarily - there was room elsewhere) sitting on top of me for most of the journey, some luggage fell from the roof on to the road nearly causing a pretty serious accident and, to cap it all off nicely, and old lady had to get off for a pee and everyone made a big point of staring unabashedly right at her throughout. Yes! I've been on that bus everyone else has been on! Tick.

The reason for this bus journey was as the first part of my trip to the mystical and spectacular Machu Picchu - the main reason people come to Cuzco. Normally you would see the ancient ruins as part of a four-day trek, but as space on these treks is limited and my plans were fairly last-minute, I wasn't able to book the trek and had to, instead, settle for transport to a city, Aguas Calientes, just outside the ruins. You stay in this city for one night before getting up early the next day to see Machu Picchu in all its glory. Good that the ancient city has glory, cos the city outside is a prefabricated nightmare. That Cuzco is clean was a welcome surprise after staying in other less hygienic places, but the sterile atmosphere that accompanied Aguas Calientes is not something you needed to be around for long. Doing the trek would have meant missing this plastic tourist trap and that would have been an enormous plus, let me tell you. I'm not one to avoid touristy places, they're normally touristy because they're of interest, but this place looks like Peru by Disney. My advice - avoid like the plague.

Anyway, leaving McPeru behind, you set off very early (5:30am) to try and avoid the thousands and hopefully catch an incredible sunrise through the legendary Sun Gate. Unfortunately this wasn't to be as the cloud lay heavy all around, but this still managed to lend the ruins a spectral quality which added to the overall haunting beauty. Even though I'd seen the pictures, nothing can quite prepare you for the majesty of this place. It's not only the ruins, but the landscape that it sits in - absolutely spellbinding. A city in the clouds and mountains amongst the lush pastures of Peruvian jungle, it really needs to be seen to be believed. Look at that magnificent natural beauty in the photo - and the ruins aren't bad neither! Meep-meep! I scaled the mountain next to the city, called Huayna Picchu, for the ultimate bird's eye view and that's the picture I've attached above for your pleasure. Pretty tiring to get up there, you can see by what a sweaty bastard I am, but well worth it. As an addendum, if the justification of my backwards cap is being brought into question, I should probably point out that I am (obviously) a black person. Now let's have no more of these trivial inquiries - time is pressing and I must away, post-haste, in order that I may cap some bitch. Word etc.

After a good six hours looking and climbing around the ruins it was time to go. I took the train all the way back to Cuzco this time, instead of getting the Chicken Express, but this did not pass without incident. As soon as I got onto my carriage there immediately began some good-hearted banter with some wobbly 50-something Mexican ladies. There was a Spanish lady opposite who would translate, and she started by telling me they wanted to flirt with me all the way back to Cuzco. Fine with me as it was all pretty funny and I suppose it made a nice change for them too to be flirting with me rather than a coronary. Apparently they were also offering themselves two at a time for me, which I can only imagine would be like being hit by a bouncy castle driven by Mr Stay Puft marshmallow man. I also think Greenpeace would have been involved at some point and maybe even a Japanese schooner or two. Do you see? I'm comparing them to whales.

Getting back into Cuzco (actually unplanned, but very welcome) I had one more night of Diablo-based samba with a couple of Aussies I met on the mountain. This really did signal the end of my time in Cuzco, though, with my next stop being Arequipa the following afternoon. Needless to say, I'll let you know how that goes - all in good time, my pretties. All in good time.

Thanks to a really old friend, Rhian, for such a kind comment. Facebook is a wonderful thing, eh? And Glenda, such blatant disrespect for the blog could lead to you being banned. Choose your words carefully next time, or pay the price. Now to Anonymous - I don't get it! A bigger baby than me? Does that mean you're younger than me? There's loads of people younger than me - millions, in fact. This could take some time. And finally, Rob. He who revels in my personal anguish and pain - help me discover the mystery identity of Anonymous and I'll keep my eyes open for a banana skin precariously placed next to a busy road just for you. Bweye!